Dr. Avery
07-12-2003, 06:34 PM
Hello. As I understand it we are supposed to tell the herd about ourselves in this area - If I'm wrong and this post is misplaced, feenies-wife'll delete it for me ;)
Just kidding.
For anyone who doesn not know me here's the vitals:
Name: Alan Avery
Age: 26
location: Portland, Oregon
Occupation(s): Freelance student, freelance tech support, musician, composer, wandering minstrel.
Liquids I drink: Coffee, 151 proof rum.
Political affiliation: 6
Number of songs I've written that use the word "bitter": 2
Number of songs I've written that use the word "indefatigable": 0
Random Quote: [speaking to myself] "Of course we used the mixolydian variant of the relative submediant tone, Only a complete moron would use the dorian mode on top of a diminshed 5th after a plagal cadence and before bridging to the tonic!"
Minutes, so far that I've spent writing this post: 5
Hair/Eyes: Yes
That brings us more or less up to date, so on to the written essay. I spend most of my days attempting to compose music - most of that time is spent cursing and smoking cigarettes.
In my off time I like to sing at karaoke bars, and read technical manuals.
I believe that pecans are the most evil nut. and that cashew are the craziest nut - that's why they're so nutty.
I believe that a bird in hand is worthless, two in the bush are less cumbersome, and that a well sharpened walrus is useful as catapult ammunition.
I am currently embarked on a crusade to stamp out turn signal neglect. Drivers you have a turn signal for a reason - use it.
Sometimes oranges are yellow. This bothers me.
Apparently, Squirrels have better things to do than test out oven cleaner. I've baited at least 20 squirrel traps with no less than 7 brands of oven cleaner and my oven is still disgusting...
Sometimes when the calm cool breeze of a summer evening is setting in - just before the sun sets and after the heat of the day - when the even the distant sound of children frolicking can no longer be heard and the amber hues set into the sky - and I am watching the sun retire for the night with it's dazzling display of orange and vermillion across the sky - when the world seems to be perfect and tranquil, I like to turn the channel, because that's boring.
I like to go to the park and watch the children jump and scream and jump and scream - Of course they don't know the gun is just loaded with blanks...
I look forward to fall - Except for the hitting the ground part.
Sometimes love IS all you need, But only if you get paid for it.
I want to write a musical about a mime colony.
Occaisionally I wax my toungue. Because shouldn't depilitories taste good too?
People often miss me when I've only been gone for a few minutes. That's probably because I steal the scopes off of their guns.
Never underestimate the power of the weasel.
Life is like an empty bag of chips: At first you are excited to see it, then you find out it is empty, and usually full of random garbage.
The glass contains 4 ounces of water, which is far too polluted to drink anyway.
I suspect that extraterrestrials are from a planet other than Earth.
I haven't slept for 10 days: Because that would be too long.
Well - That about covers everything there is to know about me. As always If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
Your most faithful and obedient servant,
Al
Just kidding.
For anyone who doesn not know me here's the vitals:
Name: Alan Avery
Age: 26
location: Portland, Oregon
Occupation(s): Freelance student, freelance tech support, musician, composer, wandering minstrel.
Liquids I drink: Coffee, 151 proof rum.
Political affiliation: 6
Number of songs I've written that use the word "bitter": 2
Number of songs I've written that use the word "indefatigable": 0
Random Quote: [speaking to myself] "Of course we used the mixolydian variant of the relative submediant tone, Only a complete moron would use the dorian mode on top of a diminshed 5th after a plagal cadence and before bridging to the tonic!"
Minutes, so far that I've spent writing this post: 5
Hair/Eyes: Yes
That brings us more or less up to date, so on to the written essay. I spend most of my days attempting to compose music - most of that time is spent cursing and smoking cigarettes.
In my off time I like to sing at karaoke bars, and read technical manuals.
I believe that pecans are the most evil nut. and that cashew are the craziest nut - that's why they're so nutty.
I believe that a bird in hand is worthless, two in the bush are less cumbersome, and that a well sharpened walrus is useful as catapult ammunition.
I am currently embarked on a crusade to stamp out turn signal neglect. Drivers you have a turn signal for a reason - use it.
Sometimes oranges are yellow. This bothers me.
Apparently, Squirrels have better things to do than test out oven cleaner. I've baited at least 20 squirrel traps with no less than 7 brands of oven cleaner and my oven is still disgusting...
Sometimes when the calm cool breeze of a summer evening is setting in - just before the sun sets and after the heat of the day - when the even the distant sound of children frolicking can no longer be heard and the amber hues set into the sky - and I am watching the sun retire for the night with it's dazzling display of orange and vermillion across the sky - when the world seems to be perfect and tranquil, I like to turn the channel, because that's boring.
I like to go to the park and watch the children jump and scream and jump and scream - Of course they don't know the gun is just loaded with blanks...
I look forward to fall - Except for the hitting the ground part.
Sometimes love IS all you need, But only if you get paid for it.
I want to write a musical about a mime colony.
Occaisionally I wax my toungue. Because shouldn't depilitories taste good too?
People often miss me when I've only been gone for a few minutes. That's probably because I steal the scopes off of their guns.
Never underestimate the power of the weasel.
Life is like an empty bag of chips: At first you are excited to see it, then you find out it is empty, and usually full of random garbage.
The glass contains 4 ounces of water, which is far too polluted to drink anyway.
I suspect that extraterrestrials are from a planet other than Earth.
I haven't slept for 10 days: Because that would be too long.
Well - That about covers everything there is to know about me. As always If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
Your most faithful and obedient servant,
Al