Graduation Advice

[mathmission]

2 weeks: that's all I have until my education has finished, in terms of state college. I was hoping to get some words of wisdom from my family about the past years that I've been studying. However, my grandfather of my mother's side, offered these words below. I share this to offer some words of advice. This is his response to an e-mail I had sent to him, defending my choice to study English, and go into Film Making. Please, if you know someone who is graduating, or some day when your own walk the path and get the $40,000 sheet of paper, please do not offer something like this, as it kills, it just kills....

------------------------

"Though I would never consider it a waste, my education was almost the anti of vocation. It has not trained me for any sort of work, nor really pointed towards further education."

I'm very pleased that you now realize that your education has not trained you for any sort of work. Problem is you should have taken courses that did prepare you for a career. You could ill afford to go to school just to get a liberal education. Especially not on somebody's else's dime. What you did was foolish, unethical, and unwise. I regret that your parents where unable to influence your direction. It is no wonder you are reluctant to "cut your academia umbilical cord" and enter the real world. You feel unprepared to meet the challenge of a career because you squandered a great opportunity. And now you are about to perpetuate this charade by rationalizing and justifying why it is in your best interest to continue to stay in academia. After all, it's a tough, cold, cruel world out there.

You must reconsider your direction and get out of that environment - the sooner the better. The way you are going will surely lead to tremendous disappointment to me and I expect to your entire family.

I too would not "consider it (your education) a waste" because, although your education will not help you find gainful employment, it will enable you to ride along on someone else's coattails just to be able to survive.

"The summer internship is full time, and pays pretty well, as well as provides a place to live for the summer". According to SALARY.COM and JOBWEB.COM, a youngster fresh out of college with no experience can expect to enter the job market in Missouri earning between $25,000-30,000 per year. That equates to an hourly rate of $12-14 per hour. Now lets say that your living allowance is worth $500 per month. That means that your internship should be paying you between $1600-2000 per month to make up the difference. And if you are being paid less than that, my advice to you is to get cracking. You are wasting your time there. Sometimes people who are underpaying you, compensate by giving you a fancy title and talking up the responsibility and the future potential which never materializes. Don't you fall for it. Put it another way, if you went to work right now bagging groceries or flipping hamburgers, at minimum wage those jobs would pay you more in actual cash (not script) than the internship!

"That's what the summer and fall jobs are for, giving me some time to figure out what I want to do". Of course you need time to plan your future but what the hell have you been thinking of for the last year of so. And now you want to take more time this fall to figure out what you want to do? One more scam on your part!

Congratulations on getting the local theater to show your film. Now that is a concrete accomplishment. Keep up the good work. I wish I were there to see it. No reason why you can't pursue this interest as an avocation on the side, but heaven's sakes, do not do it as a vocation.

In summary, let me close by saying this. I know that this message might appear to be a little strong for you at this time. Thank you for allowing me to communicate these thoughts to you. After all, Brian, you and only you, are going to make decisions about your future. That's the way it should be. And you should not allow anyone, including me, to make those decisions for you. But you need to get as much input from as many sources as you can so that you can make the very best decision.

Why do I take the time and effort in seeing that you succeed. It would be a lot easier for me to say, "do what you think is best" and let it go at that. There would be no bruised egos or unpleasant stresses for you to deal with. But I do it because I love you and want to see you succeed in life. Hell at 73, chances are I won't even be around to see you hit your stride! But I am convinced that you are headed in the wrong direction. I've been there, done that. Remember, you never want to kid a kidder. It would be smart for you to take advantage of avoiding someone else's mistakes.

All my love, affection, and support. Now get the hell out of there and go back to Blue Springs to that bagger job you had until you decide what your next step will be.

[Nilly_Chipples]

Wow, that's pretty harsh. Sorry to see he doesn't agree with you. I however do...you went on trying to better yourself and at the same time do something you have passion for. My WISE WORDS ARE.....if you want it bad enough you will find a way to get it. Go on and do an internship, you might have to work another PT job on the side but in the end...when your a big shot, that'll pay off ;)



Good Luck to you mathmission, keep in mind that he only thinks he's giving you the best advice. Unknown to him...things change in this world.

[Carrie]

Wow, I am speachless.

Let me start by saying, no education is a waste.

Im sure that was not the words of encouragment that you were looking for.

I for one have faith that you will go ont to do great things, and if you need anything, we are all here to help in any way we can. you can bank on that!

[mathmission]

Thank you both for those kind words. I am just so surprised at the narrow mindedness of his comments. To me, I don't need to make him proud. I will continue to do the things that make me happy, and I would suggest that to anyone, any day. Again, thank you. I know it was a strange thing to share, but hey, you guys are friendly cows that grace my presence in the pasture.

[sepia]

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings -- nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man, my son!

-- Rudyard Kipling
****************
An English major must surely have read that Poem. If not, read over and over until it becomes engrained in your soul. You are but a child and have a long road ahead of you, one filled with many sorrows and delights.
Go with Peace and dignity, and you shall go far.
No time is ever wasted, and yours surely was not. You are an educaterd, articulate young man, and can hold your head up in any situation. Just remember there are 2 sides to everything, and for every 10,000 joys there are also 10,000 sorrows. Nothing is set in stone but don't give up.
Also, if going to Cali, don't get to embroiled in the goings on about you. Both my great uncle and his son were cinematographers. My great grand-father was an old time actor. It is a wretched place that will eat you up and spit you out if not careful.
Remember the most important thing, the only thing you control is your reactions to those around you. always take the higher road and stay away from pettiness.

You will be fine.

[mathmission]

Again, I thank you all :) And yes, us English majors do have to read that one, along with many, many others. Thank you all.