Christmas Tequila Cookies

1 cup of dark brown sugar
> 1 cup (2 sticks) butter
> 1 cup of granulated sugar
> 4 large eggs
> 2 cups of dried fruit, such as dried cranberries or
> raisins
> 1 tsp. baking soda
> 1 tsp. salt
> 1 tsp. fresh lemon juice
> 1 cup coarsely chopped walnuts or pecans
> 2 cups all-purpose flour
> 1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila (silver or gold, as
> desired)
>
> Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large
> bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the
> highest quality, pour one level cup, and drink. Turn
> on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a
> large, fluffy bowl.
>
> Add one seaspoon of thugar. Beat again. At this
> point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK,
> so try another cup just in case.
>
> Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to
> the bowl and chuck in the cup of fried druit, pick the
> frigging fruit off floor...
>
> Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets< BR>stuck
> in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a
> drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for
> tonsisticity.
>
> Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Check the
> Jose Cuervo.
>
> Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add
> one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Wha
> tever you can find. Greash the oven.
>
> Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall
> over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally,
> throw the bowl or something, finish the Cose Juervo
> and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
>
> CHERRY MISTMAS